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base on the inside poetry quotes ramblings accomplices pics frivolity lyrics randomness go away e-mail me i love to get e-mail ... so drop me a line ... just no spam |
ˇfrivolity!
here is a collection of funny, amusing, and obviously frivolous lines/passages/what-have-you ... some of these i may have made up, but most of them were found elsewhere and said by someone else ... enjoy ... WARNING! never attempt to directly fax anyone an image of your naked buttocks. always photocopy your buttocks and fax the photocopy. -Warning label on a fax machine i've found Jesus. he was hiding behind the sofa the whole time firefighter: at one point we decided to fight fire with fire ... well ... basically ... your house burned even faster 01001001 01100001 01101101 01101110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 (this is binary for "I am not here") take twenty asprins and you'll feel better ... if you wake up ... a baby eel is called an elver, a baby oyster is called a spat for best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron for not so good results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on car rooftop -laundry instructions on a shirt it takes about 2,893 licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder according to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg i think living on the moon would be fun, but it would sure suck everytime you missed catching a frisbee anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet i bet the world would be a happier place if we all spoke in exaggerated australian accents i'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse -Woody Allen?? arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth life is like a cruise ship ... some people set their deck chairs at the front of the ship to see where they are going ... some people set their deck chairs at the back of the ship to see where the have been ... i'm the kind of person that can't get their deck chair open thanks rachel i bet that eating pasta really sucked until someone realized that you need to boil it first carpe diem - seize the day carpe noctum - seize the night carpin senium - there's a fish in my pants carpe ovum - seize the egg cave canem - beware of the dog sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy scalding hot coffee, on the other hand, does not life is a sexually transmitted disease he who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead roses are red, violets are blue, i'm schizophrenic, and so am i too all things being equal, fat people use more soap a day without sunshine is like, you know, night you know you're in some DEEP trouble when you're trapped in a mine shaft with MacGuyver and he pulls out a cell phone to call 911 here's a tip: next time you do some international flying, leave don't bring along extra sugar. and definitely don't bring it along in large, duct-taped plastic bags Here's a fun fAct fOR everyeveryone: It: onli tAKEES crAck FIvE sEcseconds tO GEt Tto: YoOUr BrAinain. if you think your job sucks, imagine how the johnson&johnson employees who have to "personally test" the rectal thermometers feel ... trudst me: doint evEr usee yoiur conpuitwer as a jellok miold remember: it's "hi, how are you?" not "how high are you?" eminem has inspired me: when i grow up i want to be a rapper called Reese's Pieces or Skittles I thought cigars were for smoking ... not fucking in reference to clinton and lewinski ... thanks marc the Romans didn't find algebra very challenging, because X was always 10. anything not nailed down is mine ... anything I can pry loose is not nailed down *fake cough* cross country/tsa/track i don't suffer from stress ... i'm a carrier life's short and hard ... kind of like a bodybuilding elf when I'm feeling down ... I like to eat a bucket of fried chicken in front of a Jenny Craig Outlet ii wuz dropt on mi hed wenh eye wusz uh litl ckid "Just say no!" prevents teenage pregnancy the way "Have a nice day." cures chronic depression. My karma ran over your dogma. how to entertain an idiot hampster dance 2 corduroy pillows - they're making headlines he has a mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states if men raised the kids ... it seemed like a good idea at the time ... |